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Joke of the Day

"Today, I went to the toilet without bringing my phone. There are 178 tiles in the bathroom all and 6 stalls in total."

"After that release you can call me POTATO_OUT_OF_MY_ANUS"

"My hearing-impaired GF left me for a hearing-impaired man. I should have seen the signs."

"Facebook is a big party where the host is in a back room going through all the coats."

"About to eat at the Cheesecake Factory/commit a hate crime against my butthole."

"When I die, I want to pass peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa Not screaming in petrified terror, like his passengers."

"GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk, please just stop!"

"Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile Not me though, I just live next door to a 10 year old with a hot piece of ass"

"It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100."

"In a recent interview, Heather Mills was asked why she thought Paul McCartney was still famous. She said she was stumped."