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Joke of the Day

"What do you mean I can't change the past? *logs on to Wikipedia*"

"Have you heard about Reddit OP having a miscarriage? She could not deliver :("

"When I die, I want my remains to be scattered around Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated."

"Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen. They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Still a little bit warm"

"What do you call a snake that informs the police ? A grass snake !"

"Their are only two things I hate about this world Those who can't respect other people's cultures and the Danish"

"I wouldn't mind getting arrested today because I'm having a great hair day and my mug shot would be fabulous."

"He tells the punchline first. What's the worst thing about a time traveling comedian?"

"shit i lost the instructions to my shampoo and now there's blood EVERYWHERE"