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Joke of the Day

"I went into my sons room and found a mouse, so I stamped it to death. It would have been so much easier if there wasn't a fucking cage around it."

"how do you know Jesus was a virgin? Could you keep it up knowing you'll be screaming ""Oh my dad"" during sex?"

"Today is the best day to propose to your girl... If she accept, its your luck! If not, tell her its April fools!"

"Mary, they told me your son is gay That's bullshit. The gay one is his boyfriend! His boyfriend!"

"i like trains thats the joke. HAHAHAHAH!!!!"

"Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own."

"Got my son to paint our fence by telling him it was his first karate class."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show these fu**in pedestrians how its done!"

"How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?"

"Build a man a fire... and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."