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Joke of the Day

"how do you know Jesus was a virgin? Could you keep it up knowing you'll be screaming ""Oh my dad"" during sex?"

"How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day? Because Russia was Stalin"

"Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!"

"There are 10 types of people in the world... ...Those who understand binary, those who don't and those who didn't expect this joke to be in base three!"

"I went into a pesticide shop and asked the owner if he had anything for flies. Stupid idiot shat in my hand."

"GUY #1: You free next week? GUY #2: Let me just check my dairy. GUY #1: You mean diary yeah? *cow walks by with ""dentist 11.30"" on it*"

"What do we want? Race Car Noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeoooooooowwwww!"

"[At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*"

"Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend"

"Pilots will get this. RETARD! RETARD!"