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Joke of the Day

"Clitoris A boy asks his dad: ""Daddy, what is a clitoris?"" Dad replies: ""You should have asked me last night, it was on the tip of my tongue."""

"What's the most problematic time of day? 4:04"

"Unshakable Fact # 3 Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - Fucking PRICELESS."

"The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money."

"Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose."

"GOOD COP: cover me! DAD COP: *tucks him in* snug as a bug"

"Where does a toilet keep his secrets? In his diarrhea."

"Why is the new Windows OS called Windows 10 Because 789"

"Wait just a minute! You're not Jennifer Aniston! Oh, you got me with that avi. Well played. I knew it was to good to be true."

"I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up."