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Joke of the Day

"Marvin Gaye's Last Day on Earth Marvin (holding present): Happy Birthday Dad!!! Dad: Marvin, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you."

"Scientists have found a definite link between sugar highs and pedophilia If you have a sugar high, you've probably eaten too many lolis."

"Why do Ethiopian girls give the best head? They always swallow."

"What's the most believed oxymoron? Peaceful muslims"

"If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, ""aww."""

"What is the worst thing about being an egg? You only get laid once, and that's by your mother!"

"Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married?? A Cantaloupe."

"What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? That was your fault!!!"

"Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window? SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!"

"I'll have you know my grandfather was killed by a Nazi. He committed suicide"