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Joke of the Day

"YOU: Please be aware-- ME: I'm not. I never will be. I've never even SEEN a ""ware"""

"What does a math teacher say when they leave? calc-U-LATER"

"Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves."

"I asked my North Korean friend how life was there He said he couldn't complain."

"The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me."

"What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east? Freedom"

"If you have a donkey and I have a rooster, and your donkey bites off my roosters feet. What do you have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass"

"People who say ""go big or go home"" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it's literally my only goal for most of the day."

"/r/jokes is the most environment friendly sub-reddit around With all the reusing and recycling of old jokes going around."

"What do KFC and Tumblr have in common? Transfats"