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Joke of the Day

"A woman recently tried to flirt with me using a electric mixer. She said she was going to whisk me away."

"What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl? The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires."

"Where does Dracula live? Monte Cristo"

"Green Day released a new politically fuelled single today called ""Wake Me Up When November Ends"" T___T"

"""A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend."""

"My mom bought a new vacuum, she says it really sucks."

"My problem is I take things too literally. Like when my wife said she'd give an arm and a leg to lose weight."

"Why did hitler kill himself? Because he saw his gas bill"

"So this girl asked me what I look for in women I told her, ""3 holes and a heart beat"""

"When is a man up and coming ? when he`s f*cking in an elevator. (ED.S)"