155779

Joke of the Day

"Green Day released a new politically fuelled single today called ""Wake Me Up When November Ends"" T___T"

"Good Cop: Book 'em. Illiterate Cop: I'll just wait for the movie."

"If you're going to go house hunting, try to blend in with your surroundings. Wear aluminum siding."

"One I made up..... What do you call a cross between a dog and a turtle? A cross. The animals around it have no effect on its name duh."

"That awkward laugh when they've said something innocuous, but you're thinking something incredibly dirty."

"Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?"

"Why hasn't bigfoot ever gone to prison? Because he has only been convicted mythdemeanors."

"Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too......just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!"

"Have you read the book about the guy who can only ejaculate a virus? It's a classic coming-a-phage story."

"If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office"