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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include ""being fucking awesome at everything."""

"Q: Why are men like laxatives? A: They irritate the shit out of you."

"Do you guys want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, its too cheesy"

"I consider myself Christlike in that I refuse to believe my parents ever had sex with each other."

"what do you call chicken shawarma wrapped in a tortilla? A mosqueito."

"Yo momma is so fat, shes got more ""coverage"" than my cell phone provider"

"I was nervous about meeting new people on a cruise... ... until I realised, we are all in the same boat."

"Fish must be like super sad because it probably took a whole lot of tears to fill the whole ocean."

"""Bite me, asshole"" - grammatically correct and scathing ""Bite me asshole"" - kinky pirate"

"The life of a penis is a sad one.... His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him."