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Joke of the Day

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None."

"INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired"

"When life handed Chuck Norris lemons, he made chocolate pudding."

"What do you do when your dishwasher breaks? Get a new wife"

"How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children? You put a guitar in his hands."

"Why did they not allow farmers in Greece? They got tired of all the minotaurs."

"Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot."

"Dora, with all the questions she poses to her audience, is breeding a generation that will scream loudly at the characters in scary movies."

"The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse."

"Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ? It was a cup draw !"