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Joke of the Day

"Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton."

"I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public."

"""Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun"" *drops string cheese* ""This hole is no cause for alarm"" *picks up string cheese*"

"If Captain America's shield is vibranium, then... Hawkeye's shield is Quicksilver"

"Whenever I'm naked in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on."

"How can you tell if Asians are good at sex ? Because out of 6 randomly chosen people, 3 will be Asians."

"Religion... That is all."

"Some of my most meaningful relationships started because I was too lazy to leave the room."

"This one is about a horse a horse steps in a puddle of mud"

"Toddlers run just like a 70s stuntman engulfed in flames."