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Joke of the Day

"""Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun"" *drops string cheese* ""This hole is no cause for alarm"" *picks up string cheese*"

"I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly."

"What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants"

"I went to go see my therapist without my clothes on. I told him I didn't feel very sane. My therapist said, ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts."""

"What would New Zealand be called if it had a fascist government? Not Zealand."

"I know repetitive noises irritate people so I'm surprised there weren't more rage-induced murders back when typewriters were being used"

"So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world"

"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my iPhone ...so you can shut the hell up about how scary D-Day at Normandy was, grandpa."

"I have a split personality No he doesn't"

"How many nuns are there in a temple? Nun."