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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife if we could have sex even though she was on her period.. ...she said she may be able to pull some strings"

"If you're in a clown posse, you don't need to tell us you're insane. We know. Nobody's thinking you're an emotionally stable clown posse."

"Like most people my age, I'm 23. ."

"What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud."

"Just want to point out the NRA's plan to stop school shootings is literally the plot of Kindergarten Cop."

"What makes the Japanese better than Al Qaeda? At least the Japanese were considerate enough to bring their own planes"

"What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle? He gets Toad"

"Always Pay Attention! After my Prostate Exam, the Doctor left. Then the Nurse came in. As she shut the door, she whispered the three words that no man wants to hear: ""Who was that?"""

"remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life"

"They should rename the SA80 to Bob Marley Because it's always jammin'"