77962

Joke of the Day

"My compass I have a compass, but instead of North, South, etc, it just points to Orc's, so when people ask me for directions, it's always orcward."

"On talk shows, whenever the celebrity guest takes a casual sip from their branded mug, I like to imagine it's full of blood"

"To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles: Grow up."

"Will reddit let me get by with this one? What do the WWE and CNN have in common? They're both fake, but sometimes people still get hurt."

"I know a guy named Bill who stuck his dick in penut butter. He was fucking nuts."

"Pilot episode You know how you can tell if a shows going to be any good based on the pilot, since it sets the tempo for the entire show? I just realized that my dad didn't like the pilot of my life..."

"Lots of road accidents are caused by bad weather It snow joke"

"""They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?"" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft."

"Just texted her ""thanks for choking on me"" I meant ""checking"" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! :-D"