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Joke of the Day

"Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!"

"Pilot: Tower there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights burning. Pilot: Sorry I mean it's smoking."

"Can a dinosaur tell a joke? You bet jur-ass-ic can!"

"A retired sergeant was asked: ""Well how do you like civilian life?"" ""Terrible"" he said gruffly ""all those people around and nobody in charge!"""

"What do you call a Japanese Transvestite? Nip Tuck"

"Didn't realize how bad it had gotten... The officiating in the NBA is so bad that at the end of last night's Knicks/Heat game the Lakers were declared the winner by 20 points."

"Who does batman love the most Bae-ne"

"Friend at work hit me with this. (Sorry if repost.) If a Stork brings white babies, and a Crow brings black babies. What brings no babies? The Swallow."

"How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan? He was de-lighted"

"Somehow my beach-bod went to a dad-bod and unfortunately now it's more of a beached-dad-bod."