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Joke of the Day

"Politician (noun): Someone who will lay down your life for his country."

Next Joke
 
"I have beef- -aroni."
"What is Hitler's phone number? 999-999-999"
"A website just logged me off due to inactivity. Hope my life never does that."
"What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ? A dirty kid !"
"The worst thing about turning up at the ER drunk at 4am is explaining to the nurse that my 9 year old drove here."
"What do you call a beaten up pretzel? A salted pretzel"
"So what do Islam and Subway Sandwich Shop have in common? A: They both had a pedophile spokesman. http://www.citizenliberty.com/2015/11/so-what-do-islam-and-subway-common.html"
"Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!"
"Buys valentine. Writes ""I love you"" inside. Mails card to self. Receives card in mail. Reads card. ""Eww, why do I attract losers?"""