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Joke of the Day

"I was chasing a girl with a dildo through the park. I would have left her alone, if she'd just given me back my dildo."

"I started professionally playing the rubber band as an instrument... ...I consider myself a one-man band."

"I just want to love someone half as much as a dog loves anyone"

"What medical device helps people that are uncomfortable looking at male genitalia? A cockleer implant."

"What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers? Bernie Sanders."

"The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots. They must feel really deflated."

"What kind of exercise did Jesus do? Crossfit"

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped."

"How did the blind man know Santa was in his house? He felt his presents."

"Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar? He would have made a gas car"