77612

Joke of the Day

"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? They're stuck at C for years"

"The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime."

"I spilled spot remover on my dog Now he's gone."

"My son went over to a friend's house & his Mom asked when we wanted him home. From her expression I think she was expecting a time, not day."

"I'm sorry I punched you in the face when you said ""I love you"". Intimacy scares me. And you said it to my sister."

"Volkswagen How many Jews Can you fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ashtray"

"I suspected my marriage was in trouble when I'd meet my husband for dinner then we would both race home to make out with the babysitter."

"You deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger."

"'Pampers' is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury"

"""Get me another beer, boy"" ""Dad I'm an adult. My name's Bobby"" ""It's time you knew the truth boy. The 2nd & 3rd B's in your name are silent"""