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Joke of the Day

"""Hello?"" Dad come get me from practice ""Sorry I'm going into a tunnel"" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* ...landline"

"What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara falls."

"Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile Not me though, I just live next door to a 10 year old with a hot piece of ass"

"Who was the greatest motherfucker in history? Oedipus."

"I asked Donald Trump what he thought about my penis He said it's going to be huuuuuuge."

"Whenever I shake someone's hand as I meet them and they say ""The pleasure's all mine."" I quickly look to see where their other hand is."

"That awkward moment when the garbage goes out more than you."

"The odds of Jesus coming a second time are about the same as those of ANY man coming a second time. #amirightladies"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? you can't jelly your dick down someone's throat"

"Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill Let's Imax and climax"