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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, forget Netflix and chill Let's Imax and climax"

"Accidentally OD'd On Benefiber The other day I accidentally OD'd on Benefiber. Boy, the shit really did hit the fan."

"Whenever I go to McDonalds, they always ask me ""What can I get you?"" and I always say ""Give me a second."" And they always give me the number two."

"Why does Snape teach options and not herbology? His lily died"

"How do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos."

"Commas make all the difference He was fucking up, until the end. He was fucking, up until the end."

"Guy in orchestra was charged with manslaughter Police state that he had a history of reckless violins."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He flushed."

"What do you call the game that centres around weak leadership? Reddit."

"If I had a nickel for everytime someone said ""If I had a nickel for..."", I'd ask people to say that a lot."