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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dead hooker and a Porsche? (Not what you think) I've never been inside a Porsche."

"You say a mesquito bit you and now you have the chills, a high fever and are sweating profusely? That's not funny. That's malarious!"

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before eating it."

"What do Zack Snyder and The Jonestown Massacre have in common? Sucker Punch."

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!! (someone date me please)"

"If maxi pad commercials didn't exist, us women would have no idea that we're full of blue windshield wiper fluid."

"I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and bitter."

"A good friend will help you move. A great friend will help you move a body."

"Where do you put a black jew? the back of the oven!!!!"

"I was arrested for killing a black man I thought I would be charged with murder, but instead I was charged with impersonating a police officer."