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Joke of the Day

"You say a mesquito bit you and now you have the chills, a high fever and are sweating profusely? That's not funny. That's malarious!"

"I'm beginning to suspect I might have bad posture call it a hunch"

"I saw a photon go by... ...it seemed friendly, but it didn't wave."

"I was tickling my brothers feet last night... ...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first."

"Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?"

"I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in her wheelchair"

"My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it you can smell the ocean."

"Reddit's post limit reminds me of the Cleveland Show 1 joke every 10 minutes."

"Did you hear about the pessimistic man who was missing a chromosome? He was a real downer."