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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar.... the bar is then raised to prevent anyone else from walking into it."

"I want to make a film about a group of friends dealing with their classmate becoming a pop star. Britney's Peers"

"me: Go back! uber driver: Did I miss the turn? me [already in the front seat trying to find the station that was playing Taylor Swift]"

"ME: my greatest strength is giving people clever nicknames. QUESTION ASKER MAN: and how is this a skill that will help you here?"

"They found a mysterious hole in the fence of our local nudist colony. The police are looking into it."

"It happens when you least expect it. Your head starts to spin. You lose control and you start falling head over heels. -winter ice/love"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!!"

"Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up."

"A feminist grammar-nazi's favourite joke (NOT a mean joke) A woman without her man is nothing! ""Wait, that's not quite right!"" A woman; without her, man is nothing!"

"What do you call a complaining adult? A groan up!"