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Joke of the Day

"North Korea's launch code B A"

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"You should all be proud if me, guys. I got a designated driver for tonight. He's my nephew, and he's six, but he's drank way less than me."
"Why did the blind blonde cross the road because she was following her seeing eye chicken"
"The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you, and you try to understand them in order to best tailor a revenge plot that suits them."
"Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee"
"Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?"
"Not a gardener per se.... but I've been known to use hoes occasionally."
"I would tell you a pizza joke... ...but it's too cheesy."
"Q: What did one tomato say to the other? A: Catch up."
"Toilet humour isn't funny It's just crap."