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Joke of the Day

"Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?"

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense."

"How can you judge how good the orgasm was? From the amount of time it takes you to press Alt-F4 afterwards."

"INTERVIEWER: Why do you want to work here? ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts."

"Paris Jackson just got a tattoo in honour of her father... It's bad."

"The Catholic Church is selling bath bombs! *puts Jesus Christ limited edition bath bomb into water* *water turns into wine* Thank u Jesus"

"What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!"

"I would never cheat in a relationship Because that would require two people to find me attractive."

"Me: Goodnight Moon Moon: Well hi there. I can't hear you because I'm 240,000 miles away and sound doesn't travel in space. Die in a fire."

"It would be a disaster if Hillary Clinton were elected president I mean who would entrust our nukes to a woman on a period?"