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Joke of the Day

"I always wear black. That way I'm ready, at any given moment, for an impromptu night out or your funeral, whatever."

Next Joke
 
"A man is put on trial for committing mass genocide against the people of Scotland. It looked like he would be in prison for life... ...but he got off Scot-free."
"Why isn't soap cool? Because it's basic."
"We basically broke up with Pluto by saying it wasn't a planet anymore then spent 9yrs obsessing about it & just drove by its house real slow"
"Apple needs to build a product for older gentlemen who have become fathers. iPop"
"What do you call Neil deGrasse Tyson pouring champagne all over his naked chest? An astro-fizzy-tits"
"Being Bipolar sucks... I love it"
"I'm just saying honey, if I sound like a cat throwing up hair balls the next day...it may be time to trim things up a bit."
"Things Red Bull has given me: 1) jitters 2) diarrhea 3) a heart attack Things Red Bull has not given me: 1) wings"
"Someone angrily told me ""You're so sarcastic!"" That would be like me angrily telling a woman ""You're so beautiful!"""