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Joke of the Day

"I always wear black. That way I'm ready, at any given moment, for an impromptu night out or your funeral, whatever."

"Just got back from seeing a chiropractor that guy cracks me up"

"Where does a bee put its stinger? In its honey"

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"I could never be in a hardcore band because I'd feel awkward putting a sticker up in every bathroom stall I enter."

"I real reason I'm single I have a tiny penis."

"I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here for karma I still do, but I used to as well"

"A major yet unspoken difference between medieval times and now is... These days, if someone owns a sword, it's a pretty safe bet you can kick their ass."

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."

"Do you know what I miss about my childhood? Not caring about spelling and chocolate milf"