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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me why we don't make love like they do in the movies.. So I ripped off her clothes, fucked her in the ass and came in her eye. I guess we don't watch the same movies."

"what is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted"

"Why did God give women yeast infections? So they would have to know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt too."

"Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day."

"I had a Muslim co-worker named ... Christian"

"What was the best time in history for the Italians? The Marin-era"

"What do you get when you mix pie and onions? Opinions!"

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"

"[Gaming] Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side"

"What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini!"