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Joke of the Day
"According to my roommate's diary, I have boundary issues."
Next Joke
"Exercise makes you look and feel better naked? So does Tequila...."
"I wouldn't say I hate my dad... But I can't deny he's a real motherfucker."
"How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich? When it's too heavy to lift."
"America's economy must really be in the toilet... The new $20 bill is only gonna be worth about $16"
"in the middle east you can't drink But you can get stoned For drinking"
"all I wanna do is [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] move to a safer neighborhood"
"Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note."
"Diarrhea is just confirming the fact that you make poor life decisions."
"What do elephants and ice cream have in common? They both come in quarts..."