77113

Joke of the Day

"How many women does it take to make me a sandwich? What the fuck are you waiting for bitch? Get in there and make me a fucking sandwich!!!"

"A policeman came into my house and told me to put my hands up.I told him that he wasn't a DJ and we laughed and laughed and now I'm in jail."

"Why are French snails faster than American snails? L'ess cargo"

"Open the door ...... Ooen the door.... Open the door Odour"

"Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went it would be Hell."

"How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? You strangle it until it turns blue, and then shoot it with the blue elephant gun."

"""Welcome to the Association Against Acronyms & Abbreviations, your office is this way..."" - ""We should call it AAAA!"" ""You're fired."""

"How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend? She paints a target icon around the outlet."

"I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations but all brooms are pretty much the same."

"*Me getting pulled over* Me:license and registration please? Guy police officer :I pulled u over.. Me:do u really want to argue with me?"