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Joke of the Day

"What did the Alabama Police officer call the black guy who had been shot 6 times in the head? The worst case of suicide he ever saw"

"What do you call a pompous Hobbit? Bilbo Braggins"

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"

"Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?"

"How do you find a blind man in an orgee It's not hard"

"What do you call a mail order bride from Thailand? A she-mail"

"I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class."

"Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill"

"I was just adoringly watching my dog sleep and he woke up and caught me and now he thinks I'm some stalker weirdo."

"Sorry, I can't delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one"