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Joke of the Day

"So I was going to blame my pet ostrich for a crime i committed But my lawyer advised that it wouldn't fly in court."

"What's the difference? NSFW What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? Regular sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your whole week Edit: fucking autocorrector"

"A woman in a store was complaining vehemently about her bathroom fan. I guess she really needed to vent."

"Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security"

"No democratic debate on Christmas Day The democratic presidential hopefuls signed a statement not to debate on Christmas Day. It was a Barry Sanders-clause"

"a feminist walks into a bar Long story short, she got raped."

"the road to Failure is paved with Doritos."

"What do you call a pair of nervous wigwams? Too tense."

"Why sharks are afraid to borrow money from other sharks! Because they are not just sharks, they are loan sharks!"

"God hates a coward! ...He ain't to fond of idiots either"