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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference? NSFW What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? Regular sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your whole week Edit: fucking autocorrector"

"Decided to burn a lot of calories today so I'm thinking of setting a fat kid on fire."

"I changed my major from being an actuary. I just couldn't handle the risk."

"What did General Custer's advisors tell him before the Battle of Little Bighorn? Don't do it, it's Siouxicide"

"Damn Donald.... Back at it again with the white fans"

"12013 B.C.: You might run into cougars while out clubbing 2013 A.D.: You might run into cougars while out clubbing"

"How do you throw a party in space? You planet."

"It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one."

"Me: ""I need a home improvement loan."" Banker: ""What will you be using the money for?"" Me: ""A divorce lawyer."""

"You hear about the guy who's teeth is like a shopping mall There's a big GAP"