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Joke of the Day

"Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked."

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"Let's do them. What do you call a group that only wants a Ninja? Goad-diggers."
"Why did the vulture cross the road? To eat the dead chicken on the other side."
"George, are you high? No mom. The smell is incense, my eyes are red from browsing reddit for hours, and I'm just keeping that unicorn here until Tim comes back from Florida."
"Why did the mean and mode laugh together? Because they had a co-median between them."
"I need ""Block"" Jokes I blocked my friend really hard in a volleyball game on the weekend and I need some block puns. Thanks!"
"Being illiterate and having a girlfriend would be easy. They'd be like ""did you get my text?"" and you could just be like ""I can't read."""
"Should I Get In Trouble For Something I Didn't Do... Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: No of course not! Student: Oh, OK great. I didn't do my homework..."
"Who are the greatest financiers in the bible? Noah, all his stock was afloat when the rest of the world was in liquidation, and Pharaohs' daughter, who went to the bank and found a little prophet."
"Why did Jimmy get into a horrific car accident? He let God take the wheel Edit: *Jesus.* He let *Jesus* take the wheel"