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Joke of the Day

"They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died."

"Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I'd look out the window for that."

"Did you guys hear about that guy who died? He was famous for giving sheep haircuts. Did that for over 25 years. They say he died from shear boredom."

"What was the pedophile doing on the beach? Just kidding"

"A good girl bends at the knees... A great girl bends at the hip."

"One day at a Stripper Club Stripper: ""The more you tip, the more I'll reveal!"" (*tips more money*) Stripper: ""Bush did 9/11!"""

"Is this joke funny? I just made it up! A son walks up to his dad and says...are you a gay buffalo? And the dad looks at him and says, no, I'm bison."

"Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of."

"Why are there no Jews on Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet."

"I commented on a ELI5 about occam's razor. My answer wasn't long enough and was flagged by the moderator-bot."