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Joke of the Day

"America is finally getting around to banning some dangerous weapons after the latest mass shooting Its a shame nobody was killed by a flag"

"How do Germans tie their shoelaces? In little knotsies...."

"How to catch a polar bear: Step 1: cut a hole in the ice. Step 2: set a can of peas opened and in front of it. Step 3: When the bear comes to take a pea kick it in the ice hole."

"The worst Jewish joke ever... An old Jewish guy comes up to and old Jewish lady and says... ""So what's your number?""..."

"I can't find a reason to vote for the (D) or (R) candidate for President, and now Libertarian Gary Johnson's campaign slogan, 'Feel the Johnson' just rubs me the wrong way."

"Somebody messed up my small weighing scale. I was like 0MG!"

"British Airways. Breakfast in London. Dinner in New York. Luggage in Tokyo."

"What do you call a cow that just gave birth? Decaffeinated"

"In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!"

"Please don't put out your cigarettes in the urinal... they are so damn hard to light up again."