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Joke of the Day

"If the radius of a pizza is Z and the thickness is A, then the volume of pizza is PI x Z x Z x A. #asianshowingoff"

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"What sport are Mexicans best at? Cross country."

"The people at U.P.S are assholes. They sent me a message telling me I have a small Package... I mean, what are they doing opening my mail and looking at my pictures anyway?"

"If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears."

"Why can't a vegetable win an argument? Cuz he always uses a straw, man!"

"You give me butterflies. I give them back. Please stop handing me insects, it's really weird."

"Somebody asked Hillary Clinton if she would be going to see 13 hours... She said no, she had already slept through that one."

"A dog limps into a bar. Says, ""I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw""."

"What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out? He saw stars."