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Joke of the Day

"The only thing worse than finding out you were given up for adoption would be finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up."

"When a guy shaves his head bald and wears a sweatband, the top of his head looks like a stick of roll-on deodorant."

"What stresses fish out the most? Current events."

"Can't you just feel the excitement in the air?!!? Only one more day left until the start of the 2020 Presidential Election Season!!"

"Hey balloon animal guys, there are other dog breeds besides ""dachshund"" and other jobs besides ""balloon animal guy"""

"Q: Why did the blonde jump off the cliff? A: She thought her maxi pad had wings"

"LPT: A quick way to find out if you're allergic to nuts Eat nuts."

"Give it to me! Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella."

"There are two types of people in the world. 1. Those that can finish lists."

"Why is /r/jokes so keen to build a wall to keep things out that aren't funny? They're afraid of the competition."