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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the joke about the Hassidic jew dentist who only puts braces on every third tooth? He's an unorthodox orthodox orthodontist"

"I like my women like I like my beard Big, bushy, and sitting on my face."

"The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray."

"God: Don't eat that Apple. You can smoke this plant I made instead [20 min later] Adam: Sooo hungry Eve: Me too Adam: That apple looks good"

"A man asks his wife what she wants for Valentine's Day. ""I want you to get something that will make me look sexy,"" she says. So he goes shopping and returns home with a case of beer."

"My family tree is a cactus,,,,,, Yeah, we're mostly pricks."

"The guest said to the cannibal Your wife makes a great soup. Yes, but I'll miss her."

"If you're attacking a paraplegic convention... Are you harming unarmed citizens?"

"""Oh, just a scotch."" The bartender says, ""what can I get for you?"" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"Bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve Their is nothing else than pisses me off more then seeing people use it."