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Joke of the Day

"My SO thinks it's sexy to bite her lip... I haven't got the heart to tell her it should be the bottom one...."

"Trying to make pancakes this morning and it turns out I didn't get the spatula in the divorce."

"a man walks into a bar he had a concussion and died"

"How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb? Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself."

"So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra."

"I can't Colbert it, they were the Stewartship of my news and entertainment."

"Is there anything better than a good ol pat on the back.. to help you get out that last stubborn turd lodged up your sphincter?"

"What did the vegetarian do to get ripped? He juiced..."

"Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!"

"Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton? He sat under the durian tree."