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Joke of the Day

"What does a dog do that a man steps in? Pants"

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."

"Stupid Joke I'd like to name my kid buoyancy, but whatever floats your boat."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has a hook hand..."

"Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!"

"What do you call a gay man in Russia? Forbidden fruit."

"The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016."

"Hey Joe, don't think we can use this ad. Why not? We're roofers. Yes, but ""Hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed"" seems extreme."

"My girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis and asked what I was doing.. Apparently ""Heating your dinner"" was the wrong answer"

"If pro is the opposite of con.. Then what is the opposite of progress? Congress.... Thank you George Carlin :)"