7654

Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you deaf? I said, Damn girl are you deaf?"

"I see a border patrol car drive by... So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says ""no no I only have debit card"" (true story)"

"Where is everyone beautiful? In the dark."

"I went a week without makeup and here's what happened: Nothing. No one gave a shit."

"Robin Williams dead. Police suspect arson, but I Doubtfire."

"Pickup line: ""Hey girl, is your dad in jail?"" Because if I were him, I would be."

"The Fifa president, secretary general and communications director are all travelling in a car. Who's driving? The police. Not mine: http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33099881"

"Someone was taken down to the police station after they were caught drinking vodka from a coffee cup while driving. They took a mug shot."

"What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. . What do you call nuts on a chest? . Chestnuts. . What do you call nuts on a chin? . A blowjob."

"Sometimes I leave a trail of pizza crumbs around the house so I can find my way back to the TV"