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Joke of the Day

"This pun may hurt a bit But I'll tell it to you straight: Hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass *...and I'll be seeing myself out*"

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States."

"My roommates are concerned that I'm using all their kitchen utensils.. but that's a whisk i'm willing to take."

"What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods? Darth Deciduous"

"(NSFW) What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you."

"How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate."

"There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons."

"I made a bet with the butcher that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...... .......He refused as the STEAKS were too high!!"

"Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!? ""Mom, it's-"" *dad makes throat slice gesture* ""No one, Mom. No one"""

"Have you ever wondered what would happen... if a virgin rooster layed a fertilized egg at the top of an infinite staircase?"