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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods? Darth Deciduous"
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"I was going to paint my computer black thinking it would run faster... ...but it didn't work."
"Unless you're going to tell me there's a sniper target on me, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say. Thanks."
"""It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?"" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people."
"What do you do if a bird shits on your head? Don't go out with her again!"
"Why were the Indians here first? because they had reservations"
"[teaching my 3yo the alphabet] ""Ok what's a word that starts with Q"" cucumber ""That's uh... I don't... let's pick this up again tomorrow"""
"Lambs: ""BAAAAAAAAA!!!"" Hannibal Lecter: ""Shhhhhh!"" Lambs: ""Baaaa!"" Hannibal Lecter: ""Shhhh..."" Lambs: ""..."" Hannibal Lecter: ""Much better."""
"Did you hear about the man whose first girlfriend was a dwarf? He's still nuts over her."
"What do ya call an overweight Scottish pigeon .... A fat coo... Im here all week."