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Joke of the Day

"It's so sad... that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs"

"I saw the Fast and the Furious 7 today... What has more brains then Paul Walker? The steering wheel..."

"I'll get you wetter than a Scottish summer."

"*girl calls me daddy* *hammer appears in my hand* ""oh no"" *I start building a deck* ""what have you done"" *grill turns itself on*"

"Yuck: I do not recommend Volkswagen's new Meat Lover's Jetta."

"So Rick Perry drops his presidential bid Today.. I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions."

"""He's a jerk. I'm over him anyway. (5 minutes later) Ooh, he texted! I want to have his babies!"" -Women"

"I've always had an over-active imagination. Like that time I found myself drowning in an ocean of Tango it took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."

"What do you call a woman leaving an abortion clinic? Dead on the inside..."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? A pizza can feed a family of four."