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Joke of the Day

"Raise the roof! The roof is on fire! Hit the club! Bust those moves! Burning the dance floor! - RL partying sounds so violent"

"So today I met a guy who went to high school with OJ Simpson. I asked him what OJ was like back then. He was quite the lady-killer apparently"

"Why were the dinosaurs so big? Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures"

"My new years resolution........ Hopefully 4k 55''"

"I was just unfollowed by a guy with 10,349 tweets & 38 followers...I'm thinking that's the same guy at the park that talks to all the pigeons"

"How do you spot a meth - head in Wal-Mart... In the light - bulb isle with their cart turned upside down, fixing a squeaky wheel."

"Sex positions for small penises Fuck! This isn't Google search. How do I delete this post?"

"I bought a used BMW from a cannibal yesterday. It cost me an arm and a leg."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!!!"

"How do you ensure the Letter Y has a clean bathroom experience? A Kleenex. That will be all."