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Joke of the Day

"*girl calls me daddy* *hammer appears in my hand* ""oh no"" *I start building a deck* ""what have you done"" *grill turns itself on*"

"Why did the guitarist get arrested? He got caught fingering A minor."

"What did the pot-head name his son? Bud."

"LPT: Dont buy French bread You will get nothing but Pain"

"When a computer program says ""Not Responding"" I start texting it stuff like ""Who are you with?"" and ""Just heard our song"""

"if you are on a magazine cover with the headline 'my new body' and that body is not, like, a cheetah or horse, missed opportunity"

"What is Captain Hook's favorite kind of humor? Dead Pan."

"Why can't a fish be a radio host? Because if he goes on air, he'll die."

"Knock Knock...Who's There?.........9/11.....9/11 Who? ""I thought you said you'd never forget...."""

"Breaking: It's snowing where some people live and not snowing where other people live. More about this in 10 minutes on Facebook News."