202489

Joke of the Day

"The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky... ...and Monica blew it!"

"McD's drive thru: Welcome back. Me: Welcome back? That's pretty presumptuous. MDT: ... M: ... MDT: The usual? Me: Yeah. Thanks Brenda."

"ME: when I was 12 I got the flu so bad I had to be in the hospital GUY WHO TRIES TO ONE-UP EVERY STORY: oh yeah? when I was 13 I died"

"A cop pulls over a redneck The cop asks ""Got any ID?"" The redneck scratches his head, "" 'bout what?"""

"Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit afire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have yourkayak and heat it too."

"I'm not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example."

"If the car behind me honks while waiting for my parking space at the mall, I turn off my car and visibly start a rubik's cube."

"Neighbors just got a pirate ship playhouse for their backyard. Drunk me has never been so excited."

"What did one sick casket say to the other sick casket? Is that you, coffin?"

"How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school."