100529

Joke of the Day

"I definitely could NOT be a surgeon. blood freaks me out when I'm high"

"Who makes more money - a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute- she can wash her crack and resell it."

"Perfect pickup line No, baby, those aren't warts, I'm just ribbed for your pleasure."

"So a. Mormon and a Catholic walk into a bar... And there goes your middle class."

"Why couldn't the blacksmith use lead to create the lock? Because it would have Lead(II) trouble."

"You know it's weird you add 'French' to anything and it makes it better: 'French cuisine', 'French toast', 'French kiss'... The only exception is 'people.'"

"So yet another snake walks into a bar... He asks the bartender, ""Gimme a shot of Jack!"" ""No sir."" ""Well why not?"" The snake said. ""You can't hold your liquor!"""

"Sometimes you wish you could just fast forward time just to see if in the end it's all worth it,.."

"Went out to dinner with a cannibal last night.. It cost me an arm and a leg"

"So, I was eating out my grandmother... ...and I tasted horse semen. ""Oh,"" I thought to myself, ""so that's how she died."""