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Joke of the Day

"TIL there is a new type of morning-after pill, and it's for men! It changes blood type."

"Which bird ran for President? H. Ross Parrot"

"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."

"9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she's so cute and at her dad's I went with all of it!"

"I only learned Roman numerals so I can be damn sure which Rocky I'm about to watch."

"TIL that some barbers have haircut numbers ""Honey, I just went to the barbershop and had a fantastic number 2!"""

"was thinking i would go away this easter. figured i would just hang around instead. its what jesus would have done"

"Make sure you finish all of your math homework, there are dumb kids in America who can't add - parents in China, probably"

"Every funeral is open-casket if you've got a crowbar and a sense of adventure."

"What do you call the place where parrots make films? Pollywood!"